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Give
kids a lasting gift, write an ethical will
Imagine a conversation with your children
in which you tell them what matters most in your life. Better
yet, imagine putting those words on paper, in an 'ethical
will.' Even if you never talk about it, an ethical will can
be a message in a bottle, a map of what mattered most to you.
Most Americans leave no clue about that,
if they bother to create a will in the first place (fewer
than 40% of us do.)
If you'd like to be an exception to that
rule, but you aren't sure where to begin, here are some questions
that may help you address that problem.
1.) What are your personal priorities
and values? Even if you feel your priorities were
obvious, your offspring will appreciate hearing what moved
you to make important
choices, especially if there is any family history attached.
2) Were you aiming for perfection? Probably
not. In your ethical will, you can't cover every base. Write
a letter that will not be opened in an attorney's office,
but while you are still around to read the faces of your loved
ones. Tell them what matters now, what principles you hope
they'll honor in their own lives.
3) Do you have a story they'll never forget?
Don't hesitate to tell it, especially if you learned something
from it. Pass it on. That bit of history not only validates
your belief, but hints at a tradition that's missing in many
families.
4) Make a wish. If you have some hope
about how the actual inheritance will be used, spell it out.
Do it in positive terms. ("We hope you will use our gifts
to continue your education." not "Please don't waste
the money on frivolous toys.")
5) Did you make any mistakes you hope
they'll avoid? Do you have some unfinished business with your
heirs,? What better place than an ethical will to forgive
a past hurt, or ask for forgiveness in turn?
6) Did you cover the important stuff?
Where you stand on marriage? the role of parents? work? church?
other family? If your gifts to various family members express
particular values, spell it out.
7) Are there any strings attached? If
so, make that clear. Do your gifts depend on finishing college,
or following through on some other life goals?
8) Declare your reasons. If you plan to
assign a portion of your estate to a charity, clarify what
moved you to do that. Your reasons, not the gift itself, are
the best way to convey your values.
If you haven't chosen a charity yet, we
welcome your call. Contact Mike Robinson, our Vice
President of Planned Giving at 597-7495 or miker@uwpc.org.
He'll be happy to talk with you about how United Way can use
your gift to express the values you lived by.
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